Tag Archives: insane clown posse

Videocracy

YouTubery Friday: “Miracles” and Tiger Woods Parody

It’s Friday! Procrastinate and count down to happy hour with these lovely bits.

Earlier this week, a video debuted for a song by esteemed musicians Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope–collectively known as the Insane Clown Posse. It was immediately shared across the Twitterverse and the Faced-Book pages as an example of majestic stupidity.

By now, pointing out ICP’s lack of talent or smarts is–while incredibly easy and fun–almost cliche. Between The Best Show’s skewering of The Gathering of the Juggalos, Saturday Night Live‘s take on a suspiciously similar subject, and general internet snark, this is not exactly uncharted comedic territory. And even though they have a cult audience, they’re not chart toppers, so mocking them seems pointless and a little mean.

But this video…holy goddamn, this thing is…words fail.

Truth be told, it’s not really the video itself, which has some cheesy graphics but isn’t all that funny on its own. No, it’s the song featured in the video, “Miracles”. It’s about the extraordinary features of everyday life. It sounds like a musical version of a Mitch Albom book, but with tons of F-bombs.

Kudos to ICP for trying to get deep, but very few things mentioned in this video count as “miracles”. Almost all of them can be explained with some basic science. That doesn’t prevent Shaggy 2 Dope from wondering, “Fuckin’ magnets, how do they work?” And Violent J shares his tale of the time a seagull in San Francisco stole his cell phone, which is less of a miracle and more of mildly amusing anecdote.

But maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the jaded, cynical one. Maybe I’m the guy just can’t see the miracles of “fuckin rainbows” and “pet dogs and cats”. Watch the video and judge for yourself.

Have you see the new Tiger Woods Nike commercial? You’ll love it if you like Inappropriate. In it. the disembodied voice of Tiger’s father, Earl Woods, admonishes him, as the camera slowly pulls in on his face as he looks stoic and competitive. Did you know Earl Woods is dead? Yeah, he’s dead. That, plus Tiger’s dead-eyed stare, make this really uncomfortable to watch.

Naturally, this has inspired almost as many re-workings as the bunker scene in Downfall. My favorite: This one, which uses a certain speech from Shawshank Redemption. (This is un-embeddable, but I forgive you, whoever you are.)

Seasonal Fare

Scratchbomb’s Best of the Media Decade

monsterinlaw.jpgBEST FILM: Monster in Law Completely changed the landscape of cinema. Destined to be endlessly copied and rehashed a la Citizen Kane, but I doubt we’ll see anyone come close to its artistry in our lifetimes.

Honorable mention: The Wicker Man Ultimately, I felt the honor of best film of the decade should be gifted to a completely original work, not a remake. However, what Neil LaBute and Nicolas Cage were able to do with the obscure cult classic almost defies words.
atj.jpgBEST TV SHOWS: According to Jim One of the few programs to span most of this decade, ATJ became like part of the family for all of us. It was there for all our highs and lows, our triumphs and tragedies. And like all great performers, it went out on top. Thanks again, for all the laughs and tears.

Honorable mention: The Jeff Dunham Show and Frank TV Both gone far too soon. Perhaps one day the public’s Philistine tastes will catch up with the pure genius of these men and their visions for the variety programs of the new millenium. Until then, I’ll just eagerly await their release on DVD, so I can savor each magic moment over and over again.

weiland_happy.jpgBEST ALBUM: Scott Weiland, “Happy” in Galoshes It reminds one of when Syd Barrett left Pink Floyd and poured his tortured soul into The Madcap Laughs. Finally given a chance to spread his wings and give full vent to his muse, Weiland truly delivered with tunes such as “Missing Cleveland”, “Killing Me Sweetly”, and his tour de force cover of David Bowie’s “Fame”. Pick up the two-disc deluxe edition to hear such rarities as “Sometimes Chicken Soup (Dig My Way to China to Find You)”–you shan’t be disappointed.

Honorable mention: Insane Clown Posse, The Wraith: Shangri-La ICP found a way to step up their game again, with a mind-blowing 180 into spiritually influenced music. Much like Bob Dylan’s “born again” albums, this did not please some of the band’s hardcore fans. But those who stuck with it were given a rare treat indeed.

stateoffear.jpgBEST NOVEL: Michael Crichton, State of Fear Millions of learned, trained scientists say that global warming is real. It took one brave millionaire novelist to prove that they were, in fact, lying to us all to further their own careers! Sadly, Mr. Crichton is in a better place now, free from evil academics, but hopefully we will one day be able to read fragments from his unfinished book exposing the Round Earth Conspiracy.

Honorable mention: Dan Brown I simply can’t pick a single book of his. He wields words as the master sculptor wields his chisel. Who else could pen such immortal lines as “Physicist Leonardo Vetra
smelled burning flesh, and he knew it was his own.”
50centrobertgreene.jpgBEST NON-FICTION/SELF-HELP BOOK: 50 Cent and Robert Greene, The 50th Law I didn’t think it would be possible for 50 Cent to top his line of urban novels, but then he teamed up with The 48 Laws of Power author Robert Greene for this life-changing tome. Only such a dynamic team could not only think up of two whole new laws for success, but also deliver them in the inimitable 50 Cent style.

Honorable mention: Glenn Beck, The Christmas Sweater Technically, this is a novel, or even a multimedia extravaganza. But it’s so much more than that. It’s a guide for your life, a tale that must be told not just at Christmas, but all year round!

drudge.jpgBEST WEBSITE: Drudge Report Fair, balanced, and sleekly designed, The Drudge Report is still the best place to hear all the latest poop. It first started dropping bombs during the Clinton years and it hasn’t changed since. And don’t you ever change, Matt!

Honorable mention: TMZ.com I hate all celebrities and believe they should be hounded until they either fly into violent rages or commit suicide. Kudos to Harvey Levin for making this dream a reality.

The Funny

“The Closest Thing to Shangri-La on Earth”

Readers of this site know that I’m a huge fan of The Best Show on WFMU. Last night, host Tom Scharpling welcomed famous comedienne Paul F. Tompkins into the the studio. Mr. Tompkins is a frequent guest, and he always brings The Funny when he makes the trip out to Jersey City.

But even judged against these high standards, last night’s episode was more wonderful than one could possibly imagine. Paul and Tom took a piece of YouTube straw and spun it into Comedy Gold. Nay, Comedy Platinum!

The YouTubery in question: a promo for the 10th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos!

Tom and Paul went through this video piece by insane piece, examining just how moronic/white-trashy/lawsuit-inducing the whole affair is. Ninety seconds of commercial led to a good hour and a half of non-stop hilarity.

I encourage everyone to go listen to the archived show now (if you must skip ahead, The Gathering discussion begins at 1:27). You will not be sorry. Their dissection of the curious etymology of Violent J’s Beach Boys BBQ Blowout Bash Blast is worth the price of admission alone. But there’s oh so much more. Last night, I was pacing my kitchen and punching my fridge in a vain attempt to catch my breath. That’s how hard I was laughing. (And my fridge has had it coming for MONTHS now.)

I won’t go through the video, since Tom and Paul did it so brilliantly already. But here are some things that I was blissfully unaware of until last night:

  • The Insane Clown Posse still exists.
  • Not only does the Insane Clown Posse still exist, but they’ve built themselves into a white trash media empire. Kinda like Jimmy Buffett, but with more barbed wire wrasslin’.
  • This Gathering thing has been going on for ten years. Nirvana didn’t exist for ten years. Black Flag didn’t exist for ten years. The Beatles didn’t even exist for ten years. But this thing has.
  • Rowdy Roddy Piper is apparently a comedian. Or at least he will appear at The Gathering’s Fresh Ass Comedy Tent. My guess is his act involves taunting Hulk Hogan and buffing Gene Okerlund’s bald head with a chamois. Or he just recites lines from They Live.
  • Among its many attractions, The Gathering includes seminars. On what? No idea. Maybe an afternoon of affirmations and punching with Violent Joel Osteen? And are ICP signed up with WebEx? Because I’d love to catch a webcast of that seminar if I can’t go in person.
  • ICP describes itself as “the most hated band in America” with “the most understood fan base”. I think The Grateful Dead might take issue with those statements.

Did that video whet your appetite? If so, check out this 14-minute infomercial on The Gathering of the Juggalos to check out some of the worst things Humanity has to offer. I just hope this video hasn’t been beamed out into space. Because if an advanced alien race sees it, they will lay waste to this planet as soon as they can.

If nothing else, The Gathering of the Juggalos should help law enforcement officials. If they just rounded up everyone who showed up to it, both meth consumption and meth production would be cut in half overnight.