Tag Archives: holy goddamn

Stew Leonard’s Red Legged Mountain Turkeys

Last summer, I attempted to relaunch my on-again, off-again podcast, Holy Goddamn! I only managed to get through two full episodes before time, tide, and the affairs of man intervened to make it impossible to do the show with any regularity. However, I did construct a bunch of dumb audio bitlets for it that made me laugh, and I didn’t want much more out of the whole thing than that.

Thanksgiving’s imminent arrival brought to mind a thread that ran through one of these episodes. If you live in the tri-state area, this is the time of year when you hear radio ads for Stew Leonard’s. These commercials feature the store’s namesake on site at the farm where he’s acquired some wonderful items for his stores just in time for this holiday season. More often than not, these items are some kind of poultry that cluck and gobble loudly, seemingly unaware of their fate.

In my version, Stew has imported tons of rare poultry (“red legged mountain turkeys”) from high atop the Colorado Rockies, just in time for the holidays! Unfortunately, Stew gets much more than he bargained for, as each subsequent commercial demonstrates.

Now you can hear all the ads strung together as one brief saga, so that they might live anew. Enjoy!

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download here.

Holy Goddamn! Episode 2: The Foe Becomes Enemy!

After a far-too-long hiatus, Holy Goddamn! Scratchbomb Radio returns with episode 2: The Foe Becomes Enemy! Mark It Down’s Mark Rosetti discusses the unfair impact deadly diseases have on sports fans! Alan Rickman hosts a car talk show! 45s and Counting host Chad Delahanty knows way, way too much about his interview subject! And Stew Leonard’s has a fantastic new product to share with America!

You can listen right on this page via the media player, download using the link below said media player, or subscribe to Holy Goddamn! via iTunes here. Thank you for listening! If you like what you hear, give it a nice, shiny review it on iTunes! If you don’t, keep your bad attitude under yer hat, fella.

Play

Holy Goddamn! Episode 1: The Origin Begins!

Holy Goddamn! Scratchbomb Radio officially returns today, and only slightly late! Episode 1: The Origin Begins! features Mark Rosetti, New York’s #1 sports talk show host* (*”New York’s #1″ is a trademark with no actual meaning real or implied.) You will also hear the mellowest metal DJ ever, and a spin of the rare (and dangerous) 1960s soul tune, “The Dip”! Plus, slightly more!

You can listen right here on this page, download using the link below, or subscribe to Holy Goddamn via iTunes here. Thank you for listening! If you like what you hear, give it a nice, shiny review it on iTunes! If you don’t, keep your bad attitude under yer hat, fella!

Play

Podcast Update: I’M DOING IT, OKAY?!

My grand announcement about the return of Holy Goddamn!, the Scratchbomb.com podcast, said the first real episode would drop today. Did I lie? No! Did I grossly overestimate my available free time? Yes!

Rest assured I am hard at work getting this done, however, and a good chunk of it is in the can. I anticipate it being ready by the end of next week at latest. You’ll also be happy to know that Holy Goddamn is now searchable on iTunes and subscribable as well, so you get hooked up now and be on the ground floor when stuff starts going down.

Onward and upward!

Holy Goddamn! Episode 00: We’re Back! Mini-Sode

They said it couldn’t be done–and they were almost right!

Holy Goddamn, the official podcast of Scratchbomb.com, is about to return! It is in the process of returning! It will have returned very soon! And I will have set the record for the most obscure verbal tenses used in one paragraph!

Holy Goddamn will be a monthly thing featuring comedic nonsense that works better in audio form, as well as some hot beats and little snippets and whatever the hell else I feel like throwing in there. You can hear all about it in this introductory mini-sode, where I pretty say exactly what I just said in this post, only with slightly different words.

The for-real, full podcast is slated to launch May 19 or thereabouts, depending on time, tide, and the affairs of man. I shall have an iTunes link for handy-dandy subscribing quite soon. In the meantime, you can subscribe manually with this RSS feed, and listen/download below. Thank you for iTuning in!

Play

Holy Goddamn! 001 – The Gentle Scream of a Dying Tongue

winger.gif

Oh, you thought you could kill it, didn’t you? YOU CAN’T KILL IT! HOW CAN KILL DEATH ITSELF!

Of course, “death itself” in this case refers to Holy Goddamn!, the official Scratchbomb.com podcast, which makes its triumphant return to the interweb airwaves TODAY!

In episode 001, I speak on my current preoccupation with Food Competitions, and interview the proprietor of Winger’s, which will explain the presence of that horrid ad just above you. Plus, I spin some tunes (listed below for you completists), interspersed with some obscure sound clips that no one but me will remember or enjoy. Fun!

How can you get all this audio hotness? Well, you can play it in your web browser by clicking on the audio player below. If you want to subscribe to the podcast and you have iTunes, click here. Otherwise, you can click on the xml feed contained in the banner above your head or in the navigation bar just to your right. Or here, if you’re really lazy.

Oh, and you’re welcome.

Holy Goddamn 001 Selist:

Cupid Car Club, “Grape Juice Plus,” Cupid Car Club M.P. 7″
Minor Threat, “Salad Days,” Discograpy buy
Elijah and the Ebonites, “Hot Grits,” Eccentric Soul: The Capsoul Label (v/a)     buy
Jay Reatard, “All Over Again,” Singles 06/07 buy
Future of the Left, “Manchasm,” Last Night I Saved Her from Vampires buy
The Zombies, “Care of Cell 44,” Odessy & Oracle buy
The Hold Steady, “Slapped Actress,” Stay Positive buy