Tag Archives: hillary clinton

What’s Cookin

With the sheer amount of insanity that has transpired in the last week or so of the presidential campaigns (never mind the accumulated insanity to this point), you easily could have missed a special sliver of crazy that emerged down the home stretch. It’s difficult for anything or anyone to appear particularly bonkers in an election season that has legitimized the voices of anime-loving Nazis. That feat was managed late last week when the topic of Spirit Cooking lit social media aflame.

The budget version (and fair warning, even this condensed explanation could lower your IQ several points) proceeds thusly: the fire-and-brimstone segment of the electorate pored over the recent Wikileaks emails and found one in which Hillary Clinton operative John Podesta talked about attending a show by performance artist Marina Abramovic called Spirit Cooking. Said show purports to involve various bodily fluids, pig’s blood, self-cutting, etc., in a tortured bohemian tableau familiar to anyone who’s ever been dragged to a freshman art show. Through the fevered interpretation of the Alex Jones crowd, however, Abramovic’s work was not a high-school-goth level metaphor but an act of actual witchcraft.

Continue reading What’s Cookin

Be It Resolved: Reagan May Have Existed

hillary.jpgI find it very troubling that Senator Obama would heap praise on Ronald Reagan, considering how devastating his policies were for our country’s neediest citizens.
obama.jpgSenator Clinton, that accusation is patently
untrue. If you look at my remarks in their full context, you’ll see
that I did not praise Ronald Reagan. I merely said that I’d had a
layover at Ronald Reagan Airport on my way to North Carolina.
hillary.jpgWell, I find it disturbing that you would fly
into Ronald Reagan Airport when Dulles is still a more than serviceable
obama.jpgThe record will show that I purchased a direct
flight from Detroit to Raleigh, but excessive turbulence forced the
pilot to make an unscheduled stopover in Washington. I admit that I
purchased a copy of Fantasy Baseball Preview at a newsstand
to pass the time while we waited for the weather to clear up. I have
been considering taking Joba Chamberlain as high as the third round
this year, a decision that I’m sure many of my fellow Americans are
wrestling with at this time.
hillary.jpgI believe you’ve displayed a tacit approval for
his presidency by your unwillingness to parachute out of the plane
before it touched down.
obama.jpgNothing could be further from the truth. I assure
the American people that if I’m elected president, I will constantly
refer to Ronald Reagan as history’s greatest monster.

Continue reading Be It Resolved: Reagan May Have Existed

Hillary Clinton: To Be Young, Campaigning, and Black

hilbot.jpgIt’s unfortunate that my esteemed opponent, Barack Obama, is trying to make race an issue in this campaign. Every time I accuse him of making race an issue, he brings up race! It’s almost as
if he’s defensive about the whole race thing.

I’m used to these types of reactions. There are people in this world who see me and think that I can’t be President. Well, I have never listened to what the naysayers said, and I am here to tell America that yes, a
black woman can be President.

Maybe the thought of a black woman President scares Senator Obama. Maybe he thinks our place is in the kitchen–the black kitchen. But as a famous black singer whose name escapes me once said, “I will survive as a black woman candidate.”

My husband was proud to be our nation’s first black President. He had a hard road to walk, like so many of our black forefathers. But he walked that road, with his own two black feet, and I am ready to walk that black, black path he forged for me–for all of us!

And by “us”, I mean all of us black people.

Of course, it’s not just Senator Obama who oppresses us. At times, we are our own worst black enemy. There are some who say I’m not “black” enough, that I’m an “Uncle Tom”. This is nothing new for me. When I left the tough streets of my black, inner city, black neighborhood, there were people who said I was turning my back on my black ‘hood.

I didn’t listen, because I knew that my black achievements could reflect well on my black roots, and allow me to one day give back to the black community that gave so much to my black self. And I say that now is not the time for black divisiveness. This is a time for black unity. With that unity, we should all come together blackly for one common black

And that goal should be to elect me, the only true black candidate, no matter what Barack “Simon Legree” Obama might say.

I don’t get angry at people like Senator Obama, because deep down, they’re afraid–afraid of our blackness. To their fear, I counter with my black hope. To their anger, I counter with my black love. To their hate, I counter with my black friendship.

So say it loud, people: we’re black and we’re black proud!

Wow, this outpouring of affection from you supporters is enough to make me shed a single, black tear of black emotion.