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I’m a Schizophrenic, and So Am I

In one episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000, the featured movie is so awful–the legendarily putrid Manos: The Hands of Fate–that Joel and the ‘bots are almost rendered speechless by its sheer ineptitude. One long stretch passes where none of them say anything, because there’s nothing they can say that will compete with the film’s epic failure. After what seems like forever, Tom Servo simply comments, “This movie has certain flaws.”

I felt the same way the MST3K scribes must have as I watched the premiere episode of The United States of Tara, the new Showtime series and brainchild of Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody.

The show is nowhere near as awful Manos–few things short of war crimes are–but it is almost as hard to watch. I watched the premiere on Showtime’s website, and seriously, I had to pause it every five minutes because I couldn’t believe what I was watching. Calling it a train wreck would be insulting to disasters.

tara.jpgPremise: The titular character is a 40-something mom of two with multiple personality disorder. She’s like Bruce Banner, except that when she gets all stressed out, she doesn’t transform into The Hulk, but one of an array of hilariously costumed “alts” (as her family refers to her other selves).

I don’t know enough about multiple personality disorder to say how someone suffering from it should act, or react, or what would trigger their transformations. But I also shouldn’t have to read the DSM-IV to enjoy a show. Thus, I have no problem saying that Tara’s transformations are way too broad to be believable.

The first episode shows her as a horny, credit card-stealing teenage girl named T, and a redneck lout named Buck. I won’t describe them further, because it’s unnecessary. Just let the stereotypical look/mannerisms pop in your head; I’m sure your brain will match them perfectly.

Why did Cody stop at these two archetypes? Why not have Tara think she’s Napoleon, or Abe Lincoln, or a frog? It’d be just as plausible, and definitely more subtle.

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