Tag Archives: 2011 mlb season

Playing Hooky

Just a quick note to let alla youse know that Scratchbomb will probably be on radio silence for the rest of the day, as I am off to CitiField in a matter of hours. Yes, it’s still quite a long time until the game starts. But I got some stuff I gotta take care of before I leave the house. You don’t need worry about it. Here’s a coupla bucks, go buy yourself something pretty.

If you’re looking for me, I’ll be the bearded guy in the Edgardo Alfonzo jersey desperately staving off hypothermia (but also counterintuitively drinking a beer). I usually don’t do the “wearing a jersey outside” thing, let alone to a game. I’m always afraid that if I do and the home nine lose, I’ll be out all day in these vestments of shame. Everyone will know that I’ve been to the game and that I’m sad and possibly angry about how they lost, and feel everyone else’s pitying, mocking eyes crawling over me in disgust.

Ah, what the hell, Opening Day comes but once a year.

This will be my first opener since 2008. How long ago is that? Not only did Ollie Perez start that game, but the crowd waited until the sixth inning or so to boo him. Were we ever so young?

See you there. Unless you’re not going, in which case the likelihood of me seeing you is drastically reduced. But not impossible!

The Hate, I Hear It Calling My Name

Remember yesterday, when I was faced with a choice between encouraging hatred of the Yankees and I resisted, wanting to raise my child in a positive, live-and-let-live way? I felt good about my decision 24 hours ago. Today, not so much.

Why? Just take a peek at the back cover of the Daily News.

Oh, Yankees. Why, oh why must you make the hate so hard to resist? “The Little Team that Could”? Really? Just for that, each member of your team should have to stand in a line and get slapped by every Pirates and Royals fan in the country.

Scratchbomb’s Thoroughly Compromised 2011 MLB Preview: AL East

BALTIMORE ORIOLES

2010 record: 66-96

Biggest offseason acquisition: Vladimir Guerrero, still owner of the ugliest/most beautiful swing in baseball.

Biggest offseason loss: Kevin Millwood is pretty much it. I remember him from his Braves days, when he would consistently murder the Mets. That was a long time ago. I am old.

Can this mix of young talent and spare parts finally put the Orioles over the top?: Yes, right over the top and back to the bottom.

Best name on 40-man roster: Rick VandenHurk, ex-Marlin and current Dutchman. Sounds like a nickname for the “hero” in Space Mutiny.

The That Guy’s on This Team? Award: A tie between Guerrero and Derrek Lee. I imagine they each eyed the other first day of spring training and shared an unvoiced “So it’s come to this, has it?”

Spring standout: Zachary Britton, who’s only given up one run in 14 innings so far. The gulf between his performance and other potential starters is not small, to put it kindly.

Probable Opening Day starter: Jeremy Guthrie, who’s pitching to an ERA of 6 this spring. Sure, why not?

Biggest question for 2011: Do the Orioles have what it takes to finish in first in the AL East, non-Yankees/Red Sox/Rays division?

Strengths: Beloved ballpark, John Denver singalongs

Weaknesses: Civic dysfunction symbolic of the abandonment of the American city in the 21st century

Semi-serious assessment: The Rays have showed it’s possible to compete with New York and Boston, but there’s only so much room at the top. I like the low-key moves the Orioles made, and these plus their core of young talent means that they’re nowhere near as bad as their reputation. This is not a horrible team. Unfortunately, in the AL East, Not Horrible = 4th place at best.

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