Inappropriate Walk Up Music: Sanford and Son Theme Song

For an intro to this series, click here. For the original series way back in 2009, click here.

Cliff FloydThis is an example from a real major league batter from a few years ago. When Cliff Floyd first came to the Mets, he would come to bat to hip-hop or R&B, usually pretty standard stuff. But at some point in the 2006 season, he began strolling up from the on deck circle to the theme song from Sanford and Son. (A post from Paul Lukas at Uni Watch from that season corroborates my memory.)

The first time I heard it, I thought it was a mistake, like the Shea Stadium A/V guy hit the wrong cue. That is not a song that signifies a slugger is approaching the plate. It should be played when the opposing team calls a mound conference or boots a grounder.

But no, this was not a mistake. Floyd had quite the sense of humor, even about himself, which is rare for a pro athlete. I remember that when the Sanford theme first became his walk up music, he said it was a reference to his own chronic ankle woes. I couldn’t find any reference to that from 2006, but apparently the joke went back a few years. According to this Cliff-centric web site, way back in 2003 he told MLB.com:

“You see me now,” Floyd said. “I’m like ‘Sanford and Son.’ I can’t run. I’m walking around here like Grady.”

Bless you, Cliff Floyd, one of the few bright spots of the Art Howe years.

Inappropriate Walk Up Music: Neil Diamond

For an intro to this series, click here. For the original series way back in 2009, click here.

Neil Diamond is a veritable fount of inappropriate. His unique combination of old-timey showmanship, bombast, and ego is rivaled by few other performers. Witness “Cherry Cherry Christmas,” a Yuletide tune he composed that wishes happy holidays to one and all by namechecking the titles of his own songs. That takes some seriously chrome-plated, sequined balls.

Hot August NightThere’s virtually no Neil Diamond song that wouldn’t be inappropriate for the purposes of walk up music. (How “Sweet Caroline” has become a ballpark sing-along staple, most notably at Fenway, is a mystery to me.) But if I had to pick one–and by the dictates of this series, I do–I’d have to opt for “Porcupine Pie.” This somewhat obscure track, from his 1972 live double-album Hot August Night, is an insanely ridiculous song sung with the utmost sincerity and seriousness. It takes a very special sort of person to play this song in front of an audience and not crack a smile. And to also use the image seen here for the cover of your album.

I would have been blissfully ignorant of this masterpiece were it not for The Best Show on WFMU. Years ago, host Tom Scharpling searched for the worst song ever made. The first candidate was “The Loadout” by Jackson Browne, a truly awful, thoroughly cynical song. (“Here’s a tune about how much we love you slobs in the audience!”) But two years later, “Porcupine Pie” was put forward as far worse, and I can’t disagree. I cede to Tom’s analysis at this time, from the episode from June 25, 2006, as it says far more than I can (and also includes a critique of a song that’s almost as weird, “Done Too Soon”).

[audio:http://66.147.244.95/~scratci7/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/060425_Porcupine-Pie1.mp3|titles=060425_Porcupine Pie]

Inappropriate Walk Up Music: Chicago

For an intro to this series, click here. For the original series way back in 2009, click here.

In the mid-80s, Chicago released roughly 8,000 ballads, usually for movie soundtracks, each one identical to the last. One of my most hated sounds in music is the Chicago Ballad Drum Sound: one beat per measure, on a 300-feet wide snare drum sitting at the bottom of an abandoned well.

Any of these would be thoroughly inappropriate as walk up music. However, I’m going to take the suggestion of @TurnpikeTony on Twitter and opt for “Along Comes a Woman.” Because it is a rare example of Chicago of this era trying to “rock,” which is worse. And also because it might be accompanied by this video.

A potentially explosive collection of verbal irritants