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Category Archives: Basketball
Ray Manzarek, Bill Walton, and Greg Ginn Walk Into a Studio…
Upon hearing of the passing of Ray Manzarek, my first thoughts were not of The Doors or Jim Morrison, but of the keyboardist’s role in one of the weirder albums ever released. The record was called Men Are Made In … Read on! —->
Why LeBronenfreude Is Okay
As much as I wanted the Mavericks beat the Heat, I also dreaded it, because I knew it would bring out the holiest of the holier-than-thous in the sportswriting racket, ready to leap all over LeBron James because he had … Read on! —->
Posted in Basketball
Tagged espn, factory wrapped douches, heat, lebron james, mavericks, nba finals
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Jim Dolan, Master Negotiator
How did I get this Carmelo Anthony deal done? Cuz I’m a god damn champion. I mean, not in the sense that I’ve ever won anything. But I am a champ at getting things done. Sure, they may not be … Read on! —->
What Should LeBron Do?
What should I do? Should I tell you I made mistakes? Or should I just imply it was my teammates’ fault? That always worked before. Should I paraphrase Maya Angelou and implicitly compare her narrative of black struggle in America … Read on! —->
Posted in Basketball
Tagged cry me a friggin river, factory wrapped douches, lebron james, nike
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Transcripts from the LeBron Tapes
Don’t think for one min that I haven’t been taking mental notes of everyone taking shots at me this summer. And I mean everyone! – @KingJames, 8.10.2010 King James: You take a fellow like this Michael Jordan, I notice–he is … Read on! —->
The Unbearable Lameness of Chris Paul
Yesterday, Barry Petchesky at Deadspin wondered why Chris Paul’s public and prolonged demand to be traded from the New Orleans Hornets was not getting the same amount of “outrage” as LeBron James’ Decision/Hank Scorpio-esque unveiling in Miami. There is a … Read on! —->
LeBron to Cleveland: Drop Dead
Now that I’ve made my decision to go to the Miami Heat, I have a special message for my fans back in Cleveland: I hate you, every last one of you. Your town was like a noose around my neck, … Read on! —->
LeBron James and the Beginning of the End
LeBron James’ one-hour ESPN special–THE DECISION–marks a sea change in sports, media, and sports media. And none of these changes are good. I struggled to think of something snotty or sarcastic to write about this event, but the more I … Read on! —->
Negotiations Continue with LeBron’s Jersey
PHILADELPHIA, PA — LeBron James’ jersey, the most sought after free agent jersey in the National Basketball Association, continues to conduct meetings with interested teams today. The media has descended on Mitchell and Ness headquarters in Pennsylvania as LeBron James’ … Read on! —->
Olympics of the Mind Meets Freedom of Drunken Speech
When I was in fourth grade, I was in something called Olympics of the Mind, a competition for future nerds and theatre people. This organization still exists, but at some point, it was forced to change the first word in … Read on! —->
Posted in Basketball, Pointless Nostalgia
Tagged fuck bobby knight, indiana, march madness, ncaaa basketball, om, pointless nostalgia, syracuse
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