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Category Archives: Politics Schmolitics
Obama Says You’ll Understand When You’re Older
Look, I know I said a president couldn’t declare war without an act of Congress back when I was a senator. But this isn’t a war, it’s policing a no-fly zone. No, it’s not the same thing. Because it’s not, … Read on! —->
Posted in Politics Schmolitics
Tagged barack obama, because i said so that's why, libya
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Chipper and Jesse’s Conspiracy Theory
WELCOME TO CONSPIRACY THEORY WITH JESSE VENTURA. I AM YOUR HOST WHICH MEANS MY NAME IS JESSE VENTURA. THE GOVERNMENT HAS SPARED NO EXPENSE TO KEEP THE TRUTH FROM EVER COMING OUT ABOUT ITS DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRETS, SO THE ONLY … Read on! —->
Scott Walker Moves Democracy Out of State
MADISON, WI–Governor Scott Walker made an unexpected move on Wednesday night, ending a legislative stalemate by relocating the state’s democracy out of the capitol. “We have tried to work with Democrats to come to a satisfactory resolution to this financial … Read on! —->
Posted in Politics Schmolitics
Tagged feudalism, scott walker, shame, union busting, wisconsin
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Future Guests of the Ohio Legislature
Two fetuses, testifying via ultrasound in favor of an anti-abortion bill Two ultrasound machines, testifying that the weird gel you have rub on their sensors is really gross A chimera, testifying via Skype, on the subject of tort reform A … Read on! —->
The Quantum World of Sarah Palin
I have to say, again, I don’t understand how anyone could think that my words could incite anyone to violence. And anyone who uses words to suggest otherwise is just going to incite violence. How could my words have no … Read on! —->
Sarah Palin Defends “Murder Congress” Campaign
WASHINGTON–Under fire after the shooting of Arizona Representative Gabrielle Giffords, Sarah Palin defended the fundraising efforts of her SarahPAC organization during the recent midterm elections. Her group received criticism for using the campaign slogan “Murder Congress.” “We reject the notion … Read on! —->
Biggest Revelations from George W. Bush’s Memoirs
His mother, Barbara Bush, was one of the first proponents of the child rearing philosophies of David Cronenberg. Of his seven siblings, only three were confined to jars. At Harvard Business School, successfully defended his master’s thesis on why kegstands … Read on! —->
Posted in Politics Schmolitics
Tagged george w. bush, horrible human beings, memoirs
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The People Have Grunted
WASHINGTON–Midterm elections have gone overwhelmingly in favor of Republicans, giving them control of the House of Representatives and narrowing the Democratic majority in the Senate, thanks in large part to the growing influence of the Tea Party movement. Representative John … Read on! —->
Posted in Politics Schmolitics
Tagged barack obama, john boehner, midterm elections, rand paul
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Tim Profitt: Someone Should Put a Stop to Me!
I apologize for stepping on a MoveOn.og volunteer’s head at the recent Senate debate in Kentucky. I stepped over the line, repeatedly, and also thought that line was printed on a woman’s face. I would like to add, though, that … Read on! —->
Posted in Politics Schmolitics
Tagged factory wrapped douches, get a brain morans, rand paul, tea party, tim profitt
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Promoting Political Involvement through Cheese
On a daily basis, my email inbox is polluted by messages whose presence baffles me. For instance, I receive an email from CMJ every single day. That is not hyperbole–every single day. Not only have I never purchased a copy … Read on! —->