Best Show Log: 2000

 

[JB] = Jon Benjamin

[JG] = Jon Glaser

[JW] = Jon Wurster

[MW] = Matt Walsh

[SS] = Sam Seder

 

10.24.2000 [first archived Best Show]

 

Start: intro, music: White Stripes, "Truth Doesn't Make a Noise", back announce

0:09: Tom introduces Yankees fan, Rick, [MW] and Mets fan, Phil [JB], who spar over their respective team's merits on the night of Game 3 of the World Series; Phil dismisses the Yanks as robots and says the Mets are more human because he cheats on his wife; Rick makes fun of the Mets and Phil's weight when not interrupted by his cell phone; things get heated and blows are exchanged

1:01: Philly Boy Roy [JW] wants to talk about 'nem Flyers, "Baseball's for tea drinkers!" Rick and Phil think he's a girl

1:06: Rick and Phil promote their inventions & businesses

1:10: Donald [JW] calls about commercialization in sports ("How did Subway get to sponsor the World Series?"), has a "pronounced limp" that requires compression pants because otherwise "it goes everywhere" ("What does?" "My body and my weiner."), requests "She Blinded Me with Science"

1:19: Rick and Phil are intrigued and humbled by Donald and start to reconcile; Phil threatens to kill himself "for my team", bashes self in face with bat, gets Rick to root for Mets for his sake; Phil then immediately denounces him for turning his back on his team

1:40: Officer Harrups [JW] calls in to break up the disturbance, turns out to be Hot Rockin' Ronnie pranking Tom

1:43: possibly brain damaged Phil can't name any Mets players

1:56: music: Thomas Dolby, "She Blinded Me With Science"

 

10.31.2000

 

Start: intro, Tom talks about what everyone's been looking forward to: the start of the NBA Season! Oh yeah, and Halloween, too; asks callers to guess the scariest band on earth, wants reports from trick-or-treaters and mischief makers

0:09: Saint guesses The Cramps

0:10: Prankster guesses the Misfits, then Menudo, admits to being an ineffectual mischief maker who mostly pranks animals

0:12: Boris Karloff wanna-be guesses Lee Donaldson and the Haywoods

0:13: Tom pledges to never play horrible alternative or French music on The Best Show

0:15: music, The Melvins, "Pitfalls in Serving Warrants", The Spellbinders, "Spellbound", Peter Tork, "Can You Dig It (demo)", The Monkees, "Can You Dig It"

0:27: back announce, Tom talks about unfortunate Halloween makeup, promotes WFMU Record Fair

0:39: music: Pout, "We Gotta Party for Peace", The Aints, "Ill Wind"

0:48: back announce, still waiting for The Creature from Pout to call in

0:54: Unfair Record Review: Radiohead, Kid A

0:59: phone trouble, music: Summer Hymns, "[?]" more phone trouble, music: [unknown]

1:16: The Creature from Pout [JW] discusses his band's tour of the US, says Tom is only allowed to play three Pout songs for fear of sending his audience into a sexual frenzy; Tom plays Pout's "Secret Dancer"

 

11.07.2000

 

Start: intro, Tom talks about the big battle: Bucks vs. Knicks!, no wait, the election; tech problems

0:07: The Creature from Pout [JW] calls in with some scheduling changes; their album and most of their tour dates have been pushed back to 2001

0:18: music: The Move, "Vote for Me", more basketball talk, caller talks hoops, gets silent and scares Tom

0:25: Alan Lieberman [SS], Joe's son, discusses the election, tennis, and common law marriage in the Caribbean

1:02: music: The Feelies, "Forces at Work", French Kicks, "Young Lawyer", David Bowie, "Hang On to Yourself" (Bowie at the Beeb version), back announce

1:18: Brad Somerstandt, candidate for Newbridge Water Commissioner [JW], says he's tired of Newbridge's water being compared to "rotten pant cashews!"; unaware that election is on Tuesday, not Wednesday; ran for water commissioner to impress his father-in-law (a local mayor), gets scary and wants to hear "Safety Dance"

1:38: music: Elevator, "My Library in the Weeds", Skywave, "Got That Feeling", Mark Robinson, "Putting Up Good Numbers", Rocketeens, "Car and Driver", Beulah, "Sunday Under Glass", back announce, outro

 

11.14.2000

 

No show

 

11.21.2000

 

Start: intro, music: Cheap Trick, "Everything Works If You Let It", Star Spangles, "I Can't Be With You", Pretty Things, "London Town", back announce

0:17: caller likes show intro, wants to talk Bush-Gore; what if presidency is presented like the Oscars?; Tom thinks Bush would be a "cool guy" to hang out with; what's Bush's favorite movie of the last year? Tom's says he's spending Thanksgiving running in a Turkey Day marathon in Philadelphia

0:24: Tom says this is the first Best Show Tuesday where no one has had anything better to do

0:29: music: The Oblivions, "The Leather", Bad Wizard, "Keep High Stay Low", Nation of Ulysses, "Last Train to Cool" (Embassy Tapes version)

0:40: back announce, Tom insists he won't troll for calls, he can talk forever!; oh good, there's 2 circuses in town!; creepy clown descriptions; Fox News creep Shepherd Smith arrested for hitting reporter with his car; Tom thanks the "old people and racists" of Florida

0:48: caller requests "Niagara Falls", refuses to describe passing landmarks while driving through Jersey

0:52: caller [Terre T] reports that the Bad Wizard song drove her dog insane, Tom commands the dog over the air

0:55: Tom gives Shepherd Smith and Bill Hemmer the thumbs down

1:00: music: Sloan, "The Good in Everyone", Todd Rundgren, "Chain Letter", Game Theory, "We Love You Carol and Allison", Butch Willis, "I Need You Too", back announce; how could Todd Rundgren possibly go bankrupt?; Tom discusses Canada's government

1:19: Shepherd Smith update, Tom thinks he should be sent to a mental institution, then killed there by fellow inmates

1:22: caller thinks Shepherd Smith is possessed by demons

1:23: caller wants Shepherd Smith beaten to death in prison a la Jeffrey Dahmer, is drunk driving while talking on a cell phone and possessed by demons; Tom gives thumbs down to drunk drivers

1:23: caller [Terre T] weighs in on Shepherd Smith

1:26: Tom discusses Michael Douglas and Katherine Zeta-Jones' horrifying wedding photos, Howard Stern's sad and predictable bachelorhood, more thumbs down

1:31: caller is glad Howard Stern is alone, "Who could have seen that coming?!"

1:32: Tom wants Gyorgi Ligeti fans to call in

1:34: music: King Brothers, "[?]", [three unidentified tunes]

1:45: Unfair Record Review: the entire Gyorgi Ligeti discography

1:56: music: French Kicks, "Young Lawyer", outro

 

11.28.2000

 

Start: intro, music, David Bowie, "Five Years" (Bowie at the Beeb version), back announce, Tom derides David Bowie's business acumen, "Didn't he retire his hits?"

0:13: Todd Billups, Tom's number one fan [JW], wants Tom to teach his calligraphy class and wear a homemade pair of transparent pants that steam up with friction; Todd says his basketball told him to kill Tom

0:21: should Tom reveal the ending to Unbreakable?

0:24: caller votes no, discusses horrifying movie version of The Grinch and buying bootleg movies

0:28: caller votes yes while washing dishes, talks about hanging out at the Loup Lounge with WFMU personalities

0:30: caller votes no, thinks Todd Billips is just messing with Tom, discusses Drunken Master ("You mean a Jackie Chan movie started off cheesy?"), Owen Wilson as a Star Trek character

0:37: fake M. Night Shyamalan votes no; Tom moves his vote to the yes column as punishment for his horrible Indian accent

0:38: caller votes yes because some of the movie's proceeds go to Bruce Willis, last movie he saw was Atlantic City

0:39: caller votes yes for the Bruce Willis factor

0:40: Ed wants to know what The Best Show is all about, votes no

0:42: caller votes no

0:42: caller votes no, wants different question: did Bush put the fix in in Florida?

0:44: caller votes yes because he only goes to movies with happy endings; last movie he enjoyed was 1941

0:46: caller votes yes because thinks he'll understand ending better if he knows it beforehand

0:48: caller votes yes because he's mad Tom revealed ending to The Sixth Sense even though he's had several years to watch it

0:49: music, The Magic Pacer, "Alien Communication", Maher Shalal Hash-Baz, "Summer", Hal Blaine "Love In (December)"; back announce

1:04: Zachary Brimstead Esq. [JW] wants to hear barbershop quartet music like "Father's Handlebar Mustache" and "Mother's Golden Locks", sings barbershop versions of rock tunes, wants callers to harmonize with him; Zachary insists on co-hosting The Best Show with Tom

1:56: music: King Brothers, "[?]"

 

12.05.2000

 

Start: intro, music [not back announced]

0:14: Zachary Brimstead Esq. [JW] calls back expecting to co-host, wants to interview his nephew Royce the rodeo rider and debuts barbershop metal

0:22: caller wants to hear Bruce Springsteen or Tom Waits, then gets weirdly angry

0:24: Zachary Brimstead calls back, mad at Tom for hanging up on him and for calling him a douche

0:29: music: Libraness, "Face on Backwards", The Polar Goldie Cats, "Rinsey's Yarn", The Sad Rockets, "Heavy Meta", dbs, "Tearjerkin"; back announce

0:43: interview with Neal Pollack, pt. 1

1:00: music, Magentic Fields, "Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side"

1:04: Neal Pollack interview pt. 2, Pollack takes calls

1:58: music, Portastatic, "Looking for Leonard"

 

12.12.2000 [no archive: "Radio Hut", Chain Fights, Beer Busts, and Service with a Grin]

 

"Tom Talks to Radio Hut Employee"

 

12.19.2000

 

Start: intro, music: Elastica, "Gloria", The Jam, "I Need You for Someone", Love Child, "Start to Smile", Modern Lovers, "Dance with Me", back announce, station announcements,

0:23: caller doesn't know The Modern Lovers, talks Xmas shopping

0:28: Anonymous Lid Blower who worked on the Star Wars prequels [?] has many details about the upcoming Episode 2; says title is The Veil of the Sith

0:48: Star Wars fan [JW] wants to know, did George Lucas withhold food from actors? Gets Star Wars confused with Star Trek

0:49: more Episode 2 bombshells from the Anonymous Lid Blower

0:54: Star Wars fan [JW] calls back, is there product placement for Doritos and Lemon Pledge in Episode 2?

0:54: Anonymous Lid Blower takes calls

1:00: caller claims to be documentarian filming Episode 2 footage, insists "This guy's a fake!"; the Anonymous Lid Blower sticks to his guns

1:06: Anonymous Lid Blower takes more calls, talks about fighting Lucas on several "comic relief" choices

1:32: music: Coco, "Coco"; Gonzalez, "Let's Groove Again"; back announce; caller asks about bed music; Tom says it's from Magnolia ("Remember that scene in Magnolia that was depressing?"); who would win in a fight between Han Solo and Capt. Kirk?; caller wants copy of show

1:43: Kris Kringle [JW] wishes Tom a merry Christmas, but it's really Hot Rockin Ronnie, broadcasting from Stark, Florida "The Home of RM Radio", where he only plays 15-second snippets of classic rock tunes "That's all you need!"

 

12.26.2000

 

Start: last show, intro, music: Rolling Stones, "We Love You", Sensational, "Club Selection", Some Velvet Sidewalk, "Shame", The Move, "Hello Susie"; back announce

0:22: Todd Billups [JW] calls Tom about his weird cell phone connection, discusses his fansite where he puts Tom's head on other people's bodies

0:34: Tom recounts Dio's appearance on Edde Trunk's Saturday Night Rocks radio show

0:41: music: Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments, "My Mysterious Death", Fleur de Lis, "Gong with the Luminous Nose", The Grifters, "Soda Pop", The Strokes, "The Modern Age", Governor, "Cameo"; back announce

1:00: Dick Halligan Jr. [JB], son of Blood Sweat and Tears trombonist/organist, promotes his book "Blood Sweat and Real Tears" and blows the lid off of BST frontman David Clayton Thomas's drunken brand of Canadian thuggery

1:35: Dell Mackenzie [JW], president of the David Clayton Thomas Fan Club, calls in to defend DCT and promote some of his upcoming casino gigs

1:44: Dick talks about his father's animal field recordings such as "Tortoise Walking", takes calls

1:47: Dick's brother Mike [MW] calls from New Paltz to dispute some of Dick's claims and denies their father was killed by a cougar; Dick claims Mike has been in and out of institutions his whole life

1:55: Dell Mackenzie calls back to update DCT tour information and album info

1:56: Dick says his father made royalties from copyrighting the phrase "Kwanzaa," takes calls

1:59: Mike calls back to point out that their father teaches at a Learning Annex in Santa Barbara, which Dick Jr. denies

2:00: Dell calls again to tell everyone to check out DCT's new album "Blue Plate Special," which Dick dismisses as "the music of a demon"