Mike Francesa’s Mike’d Up Ghost Hunters

fran1.jpgDis is Mike Francesa, and welcome to Mike Francesa’s Mike’d Up Ghost Hunters. Dis is da show where we hunt for the ghosts of Yankees past. I’m here with fellow ghost hunter Filip Bondy.
bondy.jpgThis is exciting, Mike! Almost as exciting as each time I hang out with the Bleacher Creatures and they don’t hurl homophobic insults at me! It’s like Bald Vinny told me one time…
fran1.jpgGive it a rest, Filip, it’s over. As you all know, da Yanks were shut down by Cliff Lee last night in an uttahly embarrassing perfawmance. Some might say dat’s because Lee is one of da best pitchers in baseball. But da truth is, da Yanks lost because da Yankee Stadium ghosts have not made da trip to da new bawlpawk. So I’m goin to da site of the old stadium across da street to see if we can get em back where dey belong. I come well prepahed for dis historic mission. I’m awmed with some EKB metahs, a bowl of snacks the size of K2, and 72 two-litah bottles of Diet Coke.
fran1.jpgDis is da site of the old stadium. Lotta ghosts here. Lotta spirits. Lotta spectahs, okay? Eddie, you got dat list of all da ghosts that haunt this place? No? Eddie, I toldja to bring the list of all da souls still inhabiting the hoary nether-regions between dis world and da next. So dat’s how we’re runnin a ghost huntin shows dese days, huh? Okay, dat’s fine.

Obviously, it would be yuge if we could get a big time ghost to come ovah to da new Stadium. A Mantle. A DiMaggio. A Gehrig. A Ruth. Dat is da goal. But we gotta be open to what da night brings us. Ghosts are fickle. Dey don’t obey da same rules as da living, and we have to respect dat. We might just come back with a Joe Pepitone, or a Kevin Maas. Dat’s fine. We can live with dat.

* unearthly noises *

fran1.jpgWhoah, did you hear dat? Dat is the sound of a soul in torment. Oh spirit, come with us! Dere is a home for you just across 161st Street! Da Yankees need you! Plus da new place has got a Hawd Rock Cafe and stands dat sell gawlic fries!
maddog.pngHey Mikey, how bout dem Giants, huh? Tied 1-1 with da Pherlies goin back to da Bay! Good spot ta be in! Betcha didn’t see dat comin, with Burwell and Kung Flu Pander Sindovail and Tom Lincercwum in da mix!
fran1.jpgOh gawd, dat’s not a Yankee ghost, dat’s da ghost of Mad Dog Russo’s career! Don’t look at it, Filip!
bondy.jpgBut it’s satellite radio! So beautiful!….OH GOD! DIVINE WRATH IS SEARING MY FLESH!

fran1.jpgDat’s gotta be da first ever head-melting on Mike Francesa’s Mike’d Up Ghost Hunters. Good job, Eddie. Alright, we got Jon Heyman up next, and he’s gonna help us hunt down the ghosts of his journalistic objectivity, with da help of Scott Boras. Back aftah dis.