Live Blog: World Series Game 1

buckmccarver.jpg As a Mets fan, can I ignore the World Series just because it features two teams I don’t like? Of course not! This is still the World Series, and I intend to watch every inning. This is part of baseball history, unfolding before our eyes. Plus, maybe someone will get horribly injured on live TV!

So keep your eyes on this space, for I shall be live-blogging this whole grotesque event for posterity! God help us all!

All live blog posts in chronological order, after the jump.

7:26pm: Channel 5’s showing “Good Day at the Game.” Some poor bastard giving out free cupcakes to confused, fat tourists in Times Square. They are not cheering mentions of the Yankees, but they are cheering for cupcakes. Hooray, starch!

7:33pm: Yes, Fox Sports, baseball is a kids game. That’s why you start the games at 8pm!

7:43pm: Who will get the most boos during intros, Jimmy Rollins or Nick Swisher?

7:48pm: Okay Philly, even if you have The Hooters sing the National Anthem again, you will have been thoroughly out-lamed by the Yankees using Star Wars music for the intros.

7:58pm: So after the National Anthem, the Fox announcer (thoroughly anonymous and not worth looking up) says “Coming up, a first pitch the president and vice-president won’t want to miss.” My first thought: Uh oh…Considering this is Fox, I had nightmare visions
of Bush coming out to recreate his INSPIRING ceremonial first pitch from 2001.

Thankfully, it was just the first and second ladies accompanying the legendary Yogi Berra to the mound. Phew. Although both ladies received curiously chilly receptions from the NY audience.

And yes, Joe Buck, thank you for reminding Indians fans that their team traded away both starting pitchers.

8:14pm: Nice start for Rollins, running out of the basepath. Teixeira’s lucky that wasn’t Victorino, because that punk woulda straight up shoved him out of the way.

Jesus, Buck, it’s 52 degrees. It’s not icicles in your nose weather. Stop repeating the temp
like you’re traveling in the Arctic. Sack up.

Is the purpose of that inset catcher cam so the team at bat will totally be able to figure out what pitch is coming?

All throughout the playoffs, the sound at Yankee Stadium has been thoroughly weird. Like the crowd is yelling into a very large fan. Anyone else notice this?

There you have it: documentary proof that Chase Utley doesn’t stand on the plate and get hit in the elbow in every single at bat.

I don’t think Howard’s hit qualifies as a rocket, Joe. Unless rockets get 7 feet off the ground and land just past the infield. Try “well placed”.

Sabathia looks a little rusty. Buncha pitches to Werth not even close.

And here’s Raul Ibanez, maker of fine guitars and hitter of soft choppers to 2nd. 1/2 inning in the books, no score.

8:18pm: I’m gonna stock up on black tacos now, so I can capitalize on the inevitable nostalgia 10 years from now. I won’t be caught with my pants down, like I was with Crystal Pepsi!

That Nelson Mandela-rugby movie looks like it’s based on a book called “Playing the Enemy”. The book was excellent. Read it and don’t cry, you’re dead inside.

Jeter’s K marks the 43rd consecutive playoff game in which Joe Buck said “good start for [pitcher]” after one batter faced by that pitcher. Seriously. I have playoff games from 2000 that will attest to this. I HAVE PROOF.

What’s with the bunting, guys? I thought the Angels lost already.

Cliff Lee lookin pretty good. Teixeira looked overmatched on that high fastball. End of 1, no score.

8:29pm: Awesome, MLB has teamed up with Chevy to offer fans postseason tickets! Wait, you mean the postseason that’s almost over?

Careful, Teixeira, you almost touched the bag after catching that throw from A-Rod!

Oh my god, it’s raining again, Joe Buck? How will you handle that in that heated, enclosed broadcast booth.

Three grounders. Sabathia getting into a rhythm? Middle 2, no score.

8:39pm: Tonight’s broadcast sponsored by Budweiser. Do you like getting drunk but hate taste? Try a Bud! Or, leave a can of corn niblets in the sun and drink the water inside. Same thing!

McCarver says A-Rod has “rediscovered the joy of baseball”. I guess that’s a euphemism for dumping your wife and kids for the broad from Bride Wars.

Posada pokes a single to right. Somewhere, a Philadelphian boos Cliff Lee mercilessly.

I can see why Joe Buck keeps talking about the conditions. This is the first World Series since the recent invention of weather.

Oh, I guess every ball hit in the air doesn’t go out of the park. End of 2, no score.

8:54pm: Not gonna get DJ Hero. I’m waiting for Sound Guy Hero. You move mics around the stage and sigh when the band asks for more bass in the monitor.

Has Jay-Z ever done a song where the vocalist doesn’t detract from the quality? I say, no, he hasn’t.

Bet that Rollins flyout would plopped into the flower bed in left field at CBP.

Hey fans, I know you want a K, but that check wasn’t even close. Will you accept a lame groundout instead?

For once, Joe Buck’s lack of enthusiasm was appropriate, for that lame feature on the route between NYC and Philly.

I bet A-Rod will be admonished by Yankee management for daring to touch the high rollers in the front row seats.

An epic at bat by Chutley, if by epic you mean annoyingly tedious. I have feeling we’re gonna see Sabathia pitch no more than 5 in this game. He just cannot get into any sorta rhythm.

And as soon as I type that, Utley hits a typical Utley homer: right down the right field
line, plopped into the front row. 1-0 Phils. Expect a 70,000-word essay on the historic import of this homer by Jayson Stark tomorrow.

Howard down swinging. In other words, the sun will rise tomorrow. Middle 3, 1-0 Phils.

9:02pm: This may be the first real time the Yanks regret building such a homer happy stadium. That Utley homer was pure dollar store: cheap as hell.

Whoa, the right field corner almost ate Jayson Werth! The GRIT and DETERMINATION of Captain Clutch comes through again! Unfortunately for Yanks, the BAT of Damon does not. End of 3, 1-0 Phils

9:11pm: Now let’s go over to the Douche Cam and show all the celebrity Yankee “fans”. Look, there’s longtime Bombers fan Jeff Gordon!

For shame, Kurt Russell! How could you go to a Yankees game?! Have you forgotten your nephew Matt Franco so quickly?!

McCarver calls Ibanez “one of the best postseason signings of recent memory.”
Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t he get injured and have a shitty second half?

Buck mentions “4 in a row retired by Sabathia” like it’s a huge accumulated total. Middle 4, 1-0 Phils

9:21pm: Is this Teixeira at bat the first time all night Lee’s gone to a 2-ball count? Yanks are usually more patient than this. No matter, Tex Ks on a breaking pitch in the dirt.

A-Rod does the same. Ditto Posada. What did Cleveland get for Lee? Ah yes, Carlos
Corrasco, Jason Donald, Lou Marson, and Jason Knapp. What are the odds any of those guys amounts to anything?

End 4, 1-0 Phils.

9:28pm: Switched on Rangers-Islanders game for two seconds, heard Howie Rose. I wish you were calling baseball right now, Howie.

Joe Buck even sounded bored announcing the Sunday sports triple header of Giants, Favre, and World Series. Has anyone checked his pulse lately?

McCarver says Sabathia “couldn’t watch” WS in 2007. Yeah, that Red Sox-Rockies series was pretty fucking boring.

Oh c’mon, Fox. Why taunt Cleveland with that graphic? Is the remote truck full of Steelers fans?

Nice recovery for Sabathia. BUT IS IT TOO LATE?! Mid 5, 1-0 Phils

9:37pm: Matsui works a full count by the skin of his teeth, then bounces one up the middle. First leadoff hitter to reach for either team. I like pitcher’s duels, but I doubt we’ll see another one of these in this series.

Cano called for going around on a check swing. Total makeup call for the six strikes Lee threw to Matsui.

And there’s your first blown call of the series, folks. Good thing we don’t
have replay for the most important games of the year, huh? Nope, much
better to have the umps get together and discuss at length what they
think they remember seeing.

In all fairness, the umps got it right. But they just as easily could have gotten it wrong.

9:47pm: Taco Bell giving away free black tacos on Halloween, even without the help of Jacoby Ellsbury. Shouldn’t the FDA step in and stop this sort of thing?

Joe Buck is just spitting out whatever numbers are blasted through his earpiece. Will some mischievous young Fox intern sneak something naughty into the script.

First Utley homer, totally cheap. This one, not so much. 2-0 Phils. Something
unsettling about hearing Joe Buck say “That ball was POUNDED.”

9:55pm: McCarver talks at length about how Utley is a “gamer”. Still unclear what a gamer is, and how Utley’s gamer-oisty is different from every other baseball player.

Utley is part of the Phillies’ “young core”, but he’s over 30 and looks even older. Dude’s got Gordon Gekko hair.

Ryan Howard always strikes out on that inside breaking pitch. Always. Why does anyone throw him anything else?

Werth’s grounder wasn’t the easiest play in the world, but it was made even harder by the fact that Cano was chasing it. Possibly the laziest infielder in baseball.

Ibanez strikes out on exact same pitch as Howard did. They both always whiff on that pitch. Always. Again, why does anyone throw them anything else?

10:05pm: For the record, if Utley’s got Gordon Gekko hair, I’ve got Ian MacKaye hair. Just sayin, I’m in no position to mock the follicles of others.

Lee’s nonchalant catch has disgraced the Fall Classic. Expect a savage column from Mike Lupica tomorrow.

10:14pm: Remember that awesome start Pedro had against LA? That was at Dodger Stadium. Yankee Stadium doesn’t have quite the same dimensions. Or climate. I still love Pedro, Phillie uniform and all, but that does not bode well for Petey. Then again, it’s not like CBP would be any more forgiving to him.

Not surprising to hear ex-player McCarver praise Marvin Miller. More so to hear super Republican Joe Buck do so.

PA system demands crowd take off caps for non-anthem “God Bless America”. Thanks to these headphones, I heard some loudmouth scream HATS OFF! twice. Paging the ACLU!

10:22pm: Godzilla banner for Matsui: Racist, or just lame?

Yanks go quietly in 7th. They look vaguely bored by this whole “having to actually play games to win World Series” thing.

10:35pm: Ken Rosenthal explains at length why the Yanks brought in Phil Hughes to start an inning, as opposed to with men on base. Not among his reasons: so he could walk the leadoff hitter.

How is this Rollins’ first stolen base of the postseason? Oh, that’s right, he’s barely been hitting at all. Except for that TITANIC DISPLAY OF TESITCULAR FORTITUDE that won game 4 of the NLCS. Sorry, channeled my inner Jayson Stark for a sec there.

Hughes walks Victorino, gets the hook. Remember when he was the Next Big Thing? I predict a Heilman-esque career arc for Mr. Hughes.

10:42pm: Hughes yelling at the home plate ump as he left the field is like screaming at a tree you just hit with your car.

Sarcastic applause from crowd on called third strike. Good to see the 6 year layoff in WS appearances hasn’t dimmed Yankee fans’ sense of entitlement.

Good curveball from Marte to freeze Utley, who retires to the bench to comfort himself with his 2 homers and his luxurious, slippery hair.

As Joe Posnanski just tweeted, “Joe Girardi’s overmanaging sense is tingling!” Marte out, Robinson in.

10:51pm: Robertson promptly walks Werth, brings up Ibanez. Buck declares this a “big at bat in this game,” for those viewers at home who have just acquired powers of comprehension and logic.

I like it when Buck stays quiet during the Fox Trax display. Really shows respect for this treasured tradition.

2-RBI single by Ibanez, Phils up 4-0. Might as well be 40-0, the way Lee’s pitching. Good play ends the inning, but I foresee no pie for the Yanks this evening.

10:58pm: Your day’s going pretty well when you can make a look-ma catch like Lee just did. I went to games at Citi Field in September that sounded louder than Yankee Stadium does now.

Joe Posnanski brings it yet again: “Next Cliff Lee will take off his hat, reach in and pull out … Derek Jeter’s watch.”

This just in: Nick Swisher’s not very good.

11:09pm: So Jim Carrey’s ruined Lemony Snicket, The Grinch, and now A Christmas Carol. Why doesn’t he just set fire to a library and get it over with?

Next chapter of 24 has the shady police chief from The Shield. I have no joke for that, just pointing it out.

Brian Bruney has a Jonathan Broxton quality to him, always adjusting his pants after every pitch. Doesn’t throw as hard, though. Or suck as hard in big spots.

The Chooch Train smacks a double to left center. McCarver calls this the “frosting” on the “cake” of catching a shutout. If you’re scoring at home, a triple would be “sprinkles” and a home run would be “those weird metal non pareil things”.

Buck: “Squirter for a base hit”. Please tell me this will not take the place of Chip Caray’s FISTED.

Dave Lennon of Newsday just tweeted that the Stadium is emptying out. At those prices, they’d need the jaws of life to make me leave my seat early.

Victorino RBI single, 5-0 Phils. Having seen the horses leave the barn, Girardi leaves the dugout to close the door.

11:18pm: You know those people who think baseball is boring? I see a couple of innings like this–pitching changes, checking runners, stepping off the mound, stepping out of the box–and I start to think they might be right.

Howard drives in Rollins, Victorino nailed at the plate. The slo-mo of Victorino trying to score makes him look like a bridge troll, or the intermediary stage of one of those melting
Nazi faces in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

11:26pm: “You can bet 8-year-old Jackson Lee is watching this game.” 8-year-olds don’t stay up this late, Joe.

Jeter flares one into shallow center field. Victorino dives to try and get it, and sadly, is not injured in the effort.

Damon singles to right, hard hit too. Charlie Manuel is aware that Lee is not trying to go for a no-hitter, right? Then again, this is the same manager who let Pedro throw 130+ pitches in a meaningless game in September.

Hideous throw from Rollins lets Jeter score, shutout is over. And yet, Lee still in the game. Is Manuel really this scared of his own bullpen?

11:31pm: K #9 for Lee as A-Rod strikes out on a slider in the dirt. I would say that Yankees fans will boo him like crazy tomorrow, but based on their behavior thus far, I don’t know if they care all that much.

Posada goes down for K #10, ballgame over, 6-0 Phils. Lee has pitched 33 1/3 innings in postseason so far. Maybe the should call him Cliff “LP” Lee?

Can’t wait to hear Yankees fans call in Francesa tomorrow and complain about how Yanks couldn’t hit “some nobody like Clark Lee”. Oh wait, I don’t listen to WFAN anymore. Thank god. ‘Night, all.