Tony, I would like you come to my “Restoring Honor” rally in Washington. Albert Pujols will be a guest of honor and it would be great if you could introduce him.
Gee, I don’t know, Glenn. As a public figure, I have to be careful what I associate myself with. I usually shy away from politics.
Don’t worry, Tony this is a completely apolitical event.
Really? Sarah Palin is speaking at it.
She’s not a politician anymore–she resigned the guberna…gubernavit….she’s not governor anymore, remember?
And it’s taking place on the exact same date in the exact same place as Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech, and you said your goal for this event is to “reclaim the civil rights movement”.
Civil rights aren’t a political issue, Tony–they’re a human issue. All American citizens should have the right to live and work the way they choose. That’s an issue that transcends politics, wouldn’t you agree?
I suppose so.
And so is the right to hoard gold for the impending cash-less economic system the radical socialists in the quote-unquote Democratic party plan to foist on America by the year 2013.
That sounds kind of political.
Oh, it’s definitely not. Because the Democrats insist on absolute separation of church and state, and the liberal fascists in the Obama administration are bent on removing religion from every imaginable public sphere. So if we believe in God, we ipso facto cannot be political, in their eyes! You believe in God, don’t you, Tony?


I’m not really religious, but I guess I believe in God.
Good! You’ll need to pray to that god when the new world order tries to brand your babies with a UPC-type symbol so the one-world government can track them at all times.
Why do you think that’s going to happen?
/pulls out chalkboard with Rube Goldergian swirl of arrows
Wow, that is convincing. But you swear this isn’t political.
Not in the least. Though we may all grab pitchforks and march on the White House and attempt to overthrow the government by sheer force of will. Not sure; we’re gonna play it by ear.
Sounds like a blast. Will there be vegetarian meal options offered at this event?
Excuse me?
Will there be vegetarian meal options? Because I’m a vegetarian.
YOU’RE ONE OF THEM!
/ Body Snatchers-esque screech