Midwestern Metal Band Sues Sarah Palin for Copyright Infringement

metal.jpgCAVE-IN-ROCK, ILLINOIS–Death Panel, a heavy metal band from southern Illinois, announced it is suing former governor of Alaska and vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin for invoking their name during her recent comments about national health care.

“She said our name, Death Panel. It’s copyright infringement, probably,” said lead singer/rhythm guitarist Shawn Mackin from the parking lot of the 7-11 where he works after school.

“I totally mailed all of our lyrics and stuff to myself months ago,” Mackin said. “That shit is postmarked. Case closed.”

Mackin then wondered where his mom was to pick him, since she should have been here, like, ten fuckin’ minutes ago.

“It’s like, she’s takin’ our name, right?” said drummer Dave Carlin between sucks on a Slurpee straw. “It’s like, fuckin’, c’mon.”

Mackin added, “You should hear this dude on the double kicks. Sick.”

Asked for the specifics of their lawsuit, Carlin said he had a cousin in law school. “He’s not a lawyer yet, but he knows enough law shit to get this done.” Carlin would totally call him up when he got home, ’cause he’s probably got his phone number somewhere.

Asked if he believed President Obama’s health care plan would employ so-called “death panels,” Mackin replied, “I hope so. That sounds fuckin’ bad ass.”

Mackin described Death Panel as a “totally balls to the wall” group whose main influences are Slayer, Lamb of God, and Kill ‘Em All-era Metallica. “None of that Black Album horseshit.” He said the band’s self-produced five-song demo CD “will fuckin’ slay fake metal”.

Added bassist/backup vocalist Todd Herman, “Fuckin’ A.”