“The Closest Thing to Shangri-La on Earth”

Readers of this site know that I’m a huge fan of The Best Show on WFMU. Last night, host Tom Scharpling welcomed famous comedienne Paul F. Tompkins into the the studio. Mr. Tompkins is a frequent guest, and he always brings The Funny when he makes the trip out to Jersey City.

But even judged against these high standards, last night’s episode was more wonderful than one could possibly imagine. Paul and Tom took a piece of YouTube straw and spun it into Comedy Gold. Nay, Comedy Platinum!

The YouTubery in question: a promo for the 10th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos!

Tom and Paul went through this video piece by insane piece, examining just how moronic/white-trashy/lawsuit-inducing the whole affair is. Ninety seconds of commercial led to a good hour and a half of non-stop hilarity.

I encourage everyone to go listen to the archived show now (if you must skip ahead, The Gathering discussion begins at 1:27). You will not be sorry. Their dissection of the curious etymology of Violent J’s Beach Boys BBQ Blowout Bash Blast is worth the price of admission alone. But there’s oh so much more. Last night, I was pacing my kitchen and punching my fridge in a vain attempt to catch my breath. That’s how hard I was laughing. (And my fridge has had it coming for MONTHS now.)

I won’t go through the video, since Tom and Paul did it so brilliantly already. But here are some things that I was blissfully unaware of until last night:

  • The Insane Clown Posse still exists.
  • Not only does the Insane Clown Posse still exist, but they’ve built themselves into a white trash media empire. Kinda like Jimmy Buffett, but with more barbed wire wrasslin’.
  • This Gathering thing has been going on for ten years. Nirvana didn’t exist for ten years. Black Flag didn’t exist for ten years. The Beatles didn’t even exist for ten years. But this thing has.
  • Rowdy Roddy Piper is apparently a comedian. Or at least he will appear at The Gathering’s Fresh Ass Comedy Tent. My guess is his act involves taunting Hulk Hogan and buffing Gene Okerlund’s bald head with a chamois. Or he just recites lines from They Live.
  • Among its many attractions, The Gathering includes seminars. On what? No idea. Maybe an afternoon of affirmations and punching with Violent Joel Osteen? And are ICP signed up with WebEx? Because I’d love to catch a webcast of that seminar if I can’t go in person.
  • ICP describes itself as “the most hated band in America” with “the most understood fan base”. I think The Grateful Dead might take issue with those statements.

Did that video whet your appetite? If so, check out this 14-minute infomercial on The Gathering of the Juggalos to check out some of the worst things Humanity has to offer. I just hope this video hasn’t been beamed out into space. Because if an advanced alien race sees it, they will lay waste to this planet as soon as they can.

If nothing else, The Gathering of the Juggalos should help law enforcement officials. If they just rounded up everyone who showed up to it, both meth consumption and meth production would be cut in half overnight.