Game 7: Rockies 6, Mets 2
Fake Mike Pelfrey gave up a leadoff homer to fake Carlos Gonzalez, then settled in to retire nine batters in a row. The fake Mets could do little against fake Aaron Cook, though they scratched out the tying run in the top of the third when fake Josh Thole reached second base on a throwing error, moved to third on a Pelfrey sac bunt, and scored on a fake Jose Reyes groundout. But the fake Rockies came right back with an RBI double from fake Todd Helton in the bottom of the third, and two more runs in the bottom of the sixth. Fake Pedro Feliciano gave up a two-run homer to fake Clint Barmes in the bottom of the eighth that put the game out of reach. The Fake Mets loaded the bases with no outs in the ninth, and much like their real counterparts, could do little with it. Fake Orlando Hudson had a pinch hit RBI, but with two outs, fake Fernando Tatis tried to score from second on a single up the middle. In the real world, he would’ve scored easily. In the fake world, Gonzalez gunned him down at the plate to end the game,
In real life: John Maine improved on his disappointing first start by turning in a complete shit-show, aided by some typically Mets-ian brainless baseball, en route to a 11-3 drubbing in Colorado.
Game 8: Rockies 7, Mets 4
The Fake Mets touched up Fake Jeff Francis for four runs in the top of the fourth, then decided to take the rest of the game off. Fake Good Ollie was seen at first, shutting down the Fake Rockies through the first four innings. Then Fake Bad Ollie made an appearance to give up four runs of his own, including a two-run bomb to Fake Todd Helton. Fake Chris Ianetta untied the game with a solo homer off of Ollie in the bottom of the sixth, and Helton put the final nail in the coffin with his second two-run homer in the eighth.
In real life: Jon Niese could not hold leads of 1-0 and 3-1. The Mets rallied late to tie the game at 5, but Jennry Mejia gave up a leadoff homer in the bottom of the tenth to Chris Iannetta, handing the Rockies a walkoff victory.
Game 9: Rockies 1, Mets 0
Fake John Maine pitched a complete game, scattering eight hits over eight innings. Unfortunately, one of those hits was an RBI single by Fake Troy Tulowitzki in the first, and that was the only run the Fake Rockies would need. Fake Jorge de la Rosa completely baffled the Fake Mets hitters, and they could only manage four hits as they were swept by fake Colorado.
In real life: The Mets salvaged their series in Denver with a 5-0 win over the real, much more hittable Jorge de la Rosa. Mike Pelfrey pitched seven great innings to overcome some weird base running mistakes and his teammates’ continued inability to hit with runners in scoring position.
Parallel Universe Fake Mets record: 2-7
Real Mets record: 3-6