Inappropriate Walk Up Music: 03.13.09

santo-shea.jpgFor previous Inappropriate Walk Up Music posts, click here.

Every day until Opening Day, Scratchbomb presents three tunes that are completely, unequivocally inappropriate for use as major league walk-up

These are not necessarily bad songs–although that
certainly helps. They are merely songs that don’t evoke the fear and dread one traditionally associates with the walk-up song. In fact, they evoke the exact opposite.

Imagine yourself in the on-deck circle. Bottom of the 9th. Down by one. Man on second, two out. You hear the PA system blare, The centerfielder, number 20… The crowd roars at the sound of your name. And as you stroll to the batter’s box, you are greeted with the strains of one of these songs:

Today, we go for an all-depressing slate of tunes, based on suggestions by Cuzzin Loutie and TheWhiteBoomBoom. All of these songs have been chosen because they wouldn’t inspire fear in an opposing pitcher. They would just make him sad. He might serve you up a total meatball right over the heart of the plate because he feels so bad for you.

* “The Weeping Song,” Nick Cave
As I mentioned in the comments yesterday, Nick Cave is a whole fount of inappropriate. But as long as we’re going for depressing, there’s not much worse than a song about crying.

Runner-up for Nick Cave: “O’Malley’s Bar,” a ten-minute epic off of Murder Ballads wherein he kills everyone in the titular establishment. My favorite line: “And with an ashtray as big as a really fucking big brick/I split his head in half…”

* “Blaspehmous Rumours”, Depeche Mode
What, you don’t think people want to hear a song about deformity and suicide when they go to the ballpark?

* “
The Wall”, Johnny Cash
“Boy, they’re mean bastards, ain’t they?”