Joe Torre Revisits History

fran1.jpgWelcome b-hack to the Mike Francesa program. My guest is Joe Torre, who wrote a book that’s pretty interestin. Pretty interestin. If you like books that are interestin, you will like dis book. Lotta headlines outta dis book. Lotta big news. It’s a book with a lotta stuff in it. A book made of pages.
torre2.jpgThanks, Mike, I think you summed it up pretty well.
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So Joe, has the passage of time led you to rethink certain things about your years as a manager?
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Well, back in 2000 I defended Roger Clemens pretty hard when he beaned Mike Piazza, and when he threw a bat at him in the World Series. I now have some reason to suspect that steroids might have had something to do with his behavior.
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What l-hed you to that conclusion?
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I watched the World Series footage. With my eyes.


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And dese eyes you’re referrin to, they helped you see a connection between steroids and Clemens’ insane behavior?
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Yes. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve discovered that using one’s eyes is the fastest way to see something.
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Interestin. Have your eyes taught you anything else?
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At the time, Roger insisted that he confused Piazza’s broken bat for
the ball. But now that I’ve been using my eyes more, I’ve discovered
that a bat and a ball don’t resemble each other at all.
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They d-hont?
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No, it turns out they’re different in virtually every way. Who knew?
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Any other revelations?
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Yeah, I’ve started to wonder why Roger would have thrown the object at
Piazza even if he did confuse it for a ball. I mean, why would you wing
a ball at a guy’s legs unless you wanted to hurt him? If the point of
your excuse is to make yourself look like less of a jerk, “I thought it
was the ball” doesn’t really do the job, does it?
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What caused you start to wonder about dis?
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My brain. Apparently I have one in my skull, and it comes in real handy
for solving problems and determining when something one of your players
says makes no fucking sense.
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What kept you from usin your brain before now?
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I was shoving my finger too far up my nose and I kept touching my
frontal lobe, which interfered with my ability to perform higher level
thinking. How about you?
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My doctor says my brain is surrounded by a three-inch-thick layer of butter.