Welcome b-hack to the Mike Francesa program. My guest is Joe Torre, who wrote a book that’s pretty interestin. Pretty interestin. If you like books that are interestin, you will like dis book. Lotta headlines outta dis book. Lotta big news. It’s a book with a lotta stuff in it. A book made of pages.
Thanks, Mike, I think you summed it up pretty well.
So Joe, has the passage of time led you to rethink certain things about your years as a manager?
Well, back in 2000 I defended Roger Clemens pretty hard when he beaned Mike Piazza, and when he threw a bat at him in the World Series. I now have some reason to suspect that steroids might have had something to do with his behavior.
What l-hed you to that conclusion?
I watched the World Series footage. With my eyes.
And dese eyes you’re referrin to, they helped you see a connection between steroids and Clemens’ insane behavior?
Yes. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve discovered that using one’s eyes is the fastest way to see something.
Interestin. Have your eyes taught you anything else?
At the time, Roger insisted that he confused Piazza’s broken bat for
the ball. But now that I’ve been using my eyes more, I’ve discovered
that a bat and a ball don’t resemble each other at all.
No, it turns out they’re different in virtually every way. Who knew?
Any other revelations?
Yeah, I’ve started to wonder why Roger would have thrown the object at
Piazza even if he did confuse it for a ball. I mean, why would you wing
a ball at a guy’s legs unless you wanted to hurt him? If the point of
your excuse is to make yourself look like less of a jerk, “I thought it
was the ball” doesn’t really do the job, does it?
What caused you start to wonder about dis?
My brain. Apparently I have one in my skull, and it comes in real handy
for solving problems and determining when something one of your players
says makes no fucking sense.
What kept you from usin your brain before now?
I was shoving my finger too far up my nose and I kept touching my
frontal lobe, which interfered with my ability to perform higher level
thinking. How about you?
My doctor says my brain is surrounded by a three-inch-thick layer of butter.