Useless Super Bowl Predictions: Ian Svenonius

I wanted to get some Super Bowl predictions from football experts, but then I realized that  football experts tend to be horribly, horribly wrong most of the time. So instead, I decided to think beyond the usual expert parameters and ask some other types of people for their takes on the big game. Our next guest is Nation of Ulysses/Make-Up/Weird War frontman and talk-show host Ian Svenonius.

iansvenonius.jpgI care not for the opiate of professional sports. It is just one limb of the vast and multi-tentacled corporate puppet casting its shadow across this nation.

“Fan-dom” is but a masturbatory, nay, necrophiliac exercise. I care only for the destruction of nostalgia, the shakedown of the great zombie that is America.

Let the walking dead engross themselves with this contest. Let the snackers gorge themselves upon winged treats and corn-based amnesia. They see nothing in our pursuits, nor should they.

I will focus on those bold and hopeless citizens, intoxicated with riddles, smashing idols, driving the money-changers from the temple. We shall array ourselves in finery of our choosing. We shall strike their names from the history books, and begin a glorious new reign in The Year Zero.

And if you can get Cards +6.5, you’d be nuts not to take Arizona.