Joe Torre and Mike Mussina in Get Smart 2: Dream Warriors

torre2.jpgMike, I wanted to clear the air about those book excerpts
mussina.jpgZip it, stoolie. It was bad enough you bad mouthed Brian Cashman, but I can’t believe you betrayed the confidence of your players. That’s just weak.
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But Mike, like I told Brian, it’s a literary device…
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Maybe that crap works on Cashman, but I went STANFORD, ok?! I am a very educated man and I’m not going be fooled by any verbal trickery on your part involving literary devices. All of which I am quite familiar with, thank you very much.


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So you won’t believe me when I tell that it’s okay because the book employs the third person.
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No, I shan’t.
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Would you believe apostrophe?
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No, I wouldn’t.
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Would you believe synecdoche?
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No, I hated that movie.
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Would you believe dramatic irony?
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No.
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Would you believe heartbreak of the psoriasis?
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That’s not a literary device, Joe, and there is nothing you can do to keep me from exacting my revenge upon you…
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Uh, look over there, an umpire wants you to start pitching after you’ve taken slightly fewer warmup tosses than usual!
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What?!
/sighs loudly, puts hands on hips
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/flees
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Wait a minute, I don’t need warmup tosses. I’m retired now! I’ve been bamboozled! TORRREEE!